1. I think my friendship with a cooler younger student peaked, because he no longer asks me what I’m doing every night and stopped coming to my record parties. Then I went to a bar with another friend of his and caught this friend sending a text message saying, “I think they are boring” about my friends and I.
2. The only real reason that I want anything resembling a boyfriend is for how it will appear to the last person that hurt my feelings. I will say, “I hate you, but there is only one reason for that.” I will say, “I hate you because you don’t see what he does.” This will not be in person.
3. I really just want to get drunk and sit around and read other people’s highly self-aware works of fiction.
4. This will be the last time I do this.